I started into
one of my famous discipline lectures. Yes, my best form of discipline was a long
lecture that got to the heart of the problem and opened up the minds of my
children to the truth. Teach right
thinking and you will gain right behavior and attitudes. After this lecture we
never once heard the words again “It’s not fair!”
It’s not fair!
You are exactly
right! It’s not fair that you were born
into this family. You could have been
born to a family in Africa or India and have one set of clothes and live in a
tin hut. You get three meals a day and
lots of snacks when much of the world gets one full meal and many go to bed
hungry.
It’s not fair!
You get to go on
vacation in one of the most ideal places in the U.S. at Grandma’s beautiful
cabin right on the lake, which Grandpa worked so hard to afford. You have two
parents who love you and care for you, who laugh with you and play with you,
when some children have only one parent or no parents at
all.
No… life is not
fair!
We have been blessed to be
born into a loving Christian family and in the place and time of history that
kings and queens of old would have given their right arm to have experienced.
Refrigerators, ovens, microwaves, televisions, cars and boats and planes… toilet
tissue and running hot water… these are luxuries to a small percentage of all the people who
ever lived, and you and I get to experience them.
You don’t want
fair!
You want your
parents to be generous with you. You
want us to look at each and every one of your needs and to give you what is best
for you, not everything you want in life.
Just because you want something does not mean it is the best for you, and
you have to allow your parents to treat each one of you differently so that we
can give you the best.
Giving everyone
the same thing is not fair!
Thank God that
he does not give us all the exact same things in life, but He gives us what He
knows is best for us to learn and grow as His children. Do you all want the same Christmas
gifts? Do you all want to go to the same
schools, study the same subjects, play the same sports, and attend the exact
same colleges? Do you want to wear the
same clothes and eat exactly the same things? Sleep in the exact same bed and
play with the same toys?
So do not ask us
to be fair!
You do not want
fairness from your parents, but instead you want our love and generosity. God is
not fair with us, but is gracious and generous, kind and loving. If we got what
we deserve we would be most miserable, but instead, God and your parents give
you the good things of life as we try to give you our best.
Instead, ask that
you too learn to be generous and to serve others. To give up things and privileges so that your
brothers and sisters can get what they want and need. If everyone in a family is willing to seek
the best interest of the others, then fairness is a non-issue. Instead generosity and love become so much
more important than making sure you get everything you want or feel you
deserve.
Parents, don’t be
fair with your children!
Instead be
generous, and teach them that fairness is a much lower standard than serving and
sacrifice. Seek the best interest of
others and watch what God will do in the lives of those who serve Him to change them
from the inside out in a way that the things and pleasures of life can never
do.
And whosoever
of you will be the greatest must become servant of all.
Mark
10:44
Written by Ken Alexander
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Are there any other topics you would like to hear from him?
