Saturday, February 28, 2015

Women are Still Chewing on the Forbidden Apple

Lindsay wrote a great piece on the Fifty Shades of Grey. TheJoyFilledWife commented on this post. Many times, I get posts just from her comments! She has such a heart for the Lord and for marriage. Here are her comments ~ 

I spent a great deal of time last night in prayer and sorrow for our nation. The fact that the pre-sell tickets for this movie have topped just about any other, shows the great depravity of our nation, as well as the sickly state of Christianity. It is said that the most tickets have been sold in the Bible Belt of the US -- obviously the majority being women -- and I sit here asking myself, "Where are the men of God that should be stepping in and telling Eve that not only may she not allow Satan to deceive her by eating the fruit, but that the 'fruit' is but a disguise for the bondage that accompanies it's consumption?" 

But, alas, the women of our society are reaping what they've sown all these years through their rebellion against the protection and authority of men. At a time when we women need the strength and power of men the most, few of them are anywhere to be found. Since we have, for decades, sent the message to men loud and clear that we are capable of taking care of ourselves in every capacity and have no real need for them, we are left to fight our battles alone, aided only by our immense vulnerability to deception that will ultimately leave us -- the weaker sex -- to be held captive with no knight to come and rescue us from the pit we have willingly thrown ourselves into. 

Oh Jesus, come quickly! Separate the wheat from the chaff and refine your bride so that she may shine like a light on a hill in this dark and dismal world. Sweet Savior, you are our only hope! Oh God, hear the prayers of your saints and be ever near to us, drawing us unto the shelter of your wings. The enemy roams the earth, seeking to devour and destroy, but we rest on knowing the Truth that greater is He who is in us than he who is in the world.

And Adam was not deceived, 
but the woman being deceived was in the transgression.
I Timothy 2:14

***Melanie Griffith and Don Johnson, the parents of the woman who stars in "50 Shades," won't even go see the movie. If you read my post, you will find out the trouble men are having enjoying normal sex, even with their wife because of the detrimental effects of porn, yet women are flocking to this movie hoping to have better sex lives, in reality, it is the vehicle that is destroying their sex lives. 

Friday, February 27, 2015

Catering to Your Tastebuds

Do you cater to your taste buds? Do you only eat something because it tastes good without having any idea what is in it and what it does to your health? I want to encourage you to STOP! Everything you put into your mouth affects your health. It doesn't just go in one end and out the other.

Food is meant to nourish our bodies. Sure, a treat once in awhile is okay but why not make that treat something that does not have these ingredients in them like the Nestle Hot Cocoa Mix ~

Sugar, Corn Syrup Solids, Dairy Product Solids, Vegetable Oil {Partially hydrogenated coconut or palm kernel and hydrogenated soybean}, Cocoa Processed with Alkali, and less than 2% salt, Cellulose Gum, Sodium Caseinat, Dipotassium Phosphate, Sodium Aluminosilicate, Mono-and Diglycerides, Guar Gum, Aritificial Flavor, Sucralose.

There is not one healthy, nourishing item in this list. Sugar is very detrimental to your health and it is the first several ingredients. Hydrogenated oils are not even fit for human consumption and then there are chemicals that should not be ingested into the human body.

Instead, fix some organic milk {raw milk if you can find it} or coconut milk with organic cocoa powder, a little bit of stevia and pinch of salt and it will be much healthier for you; real food and nutritious. If you want a power bar, you can buy ones at the health food store with healthy ingredients or make your own from scratch. Cookies are easy to make with REAL ingredients; ingredients you can pronounce and food that hasn't been overly processed in any way. My daughters make these yummy Peanut Butter Cups when they have a sweet tooth!

We shouldn't depend upon our health care system to keep us healthy. Yes, they are wonderful to have in emergency situations but we need to be responsible for what is going into our bodies. Therefore, stop catering to your taste buds and cater to your body instead. Nourish it with food that will create good health and a strong body. Work on building a strong immune system and then go out and be salt and light to a dark and decaying world!

Whether therefore ye eat, or drink, 
or whatsoever ye do, do all to the glory of God.
1 Corinthians 10:31

Thursday, February 26, 2015

Sweethearts For Life Even After Adultery

Her husband decided to leave her and cling to a Jezebel. His wife was controlling and this Jezebel made him feel desirable. He had papers drawn up to give his wife the home and some other things and another paper for divorcing her. She signed the papers to get the home and things but refused to sign the divorce papers.

He began seeing a change in his wife and became "spooked" about this Jezebel lady, yet he still had another affair with even another woman. However, after two long years of hurt and separation, Jimmie Ruth Matthews welcomed her husband home. This was based on obedience, not on strong feelings. 

She told him, “Lorne, I don’t feel anything for you.”

He said, “Well, you know, I don’t feel anything for you either.”  We both agreed that it was right for us to be together as husband and wife.  I remember, Nancy, when I finally came home, I began to see that she was a changed woman. I studied my wife. I didn’t see the same person—this clutchy, fearful woman that was so blanketing and mothering and controlling wasn’t there. She’s the same strong-willed person, but the beauty of coming to the place where . . . She sat down with me and we talked, and she said, “I’ve learned something. I’ve learned my significance. With you or without you, I am significant in Christ. I am somebody because I know Christ as my Savior.” 

She said, "I remember laying by Lorne and praying, 'Lord, this was not our idea. This was Your plan. I submit to You, first of all, and I submit to my husband because I know it honors You.' So it was years of just walking the Word."

 He said, "She submitted to the Lord, and she submitted to me. I hear about all these ministers who are falling and getting away from their wives. The greatest thing I believe in the world is the power of influence of a godly woman to love her man no matter what, and I have been given that treasure, and I am so grateful...The sign language has a sign for sweethearts. You'd think that sweethearts would be fingers all entwined together, but what their sign is is two strong personalities together facing each other. "

Nancy: You’re putting your fists together.

Something interesting that Nancy Leigh DeMoss' guest brought up during this powerful program was this statement: "When I started studying the patterns of covenant and the New Testament plan, I just could not see that was what God was saying in the Word {Matthew 19:9}. The Scripture they use says, 'Except it be for fornication.' So people think when a person has a mate that he's committing adultery, then what the Scripture is saying is that you can go ahead and get a divorce. But actually, the Scripture is referring to a Jewish betrothal pattern."  Nancy agreed with this interpretation and had remarked earlier, "Marriage is a covenant. It's a pledge to be faithful unto death, regardless of what circumstances my arise." {Not sure I agree with this interpretation, but I find it very interesting.}

These are hard words for many women in difficult marriages. I have mentored women whose husbands were having affairs. These men are in bondage to their sin. A godly wife who waits for her husband can be a huge testimony to the world and to her husband of God's faithfulness to all of them, even when they sin over and over again. She may even be the vessel God uses to save her husband's soul from damnation. I have seen and heard this happen too many times to not trust God and know that His ways are by far the best and most sure way for restoration in a marriage.

God allowed divorce only because of the hardness of their hearts. He hates divorce and He knows the destruction it causes on everyone involved and around the couple who divorces. If only women could have an eternal vision and know that by staying with their husband they are sanctifying their husband. Yes, it is very difficult, but eternally worth it.

What therefore God hath joined together,
let not man put asunder.
Mark 10:9

Wednesday, February 25, 2015

NEVER Paid a Penny in Interest!

She was born in 1963. She was the fifth and final child in her family. Her mother was a stay-at-home mom and her dad, who is 91 years old and looks amazing, would work three jobs to keep food on the table. He knew where every single penny was spent. He never had debt and never wanted to pay interest on anything. If the family needed something, they would save up until they had enough money. He bought his cars and home with cash. He never overspent. She said their childhood was a happy one!

Her mom would go to the second day bakery and they all wore hand me downs but they had a lot of fun. Their vacations were at a friend's cabin at a river near their home. Children today get gifts all the time; they got a gift at Christmas and their birthday and that was it. They never felt as if they were struggling; they just lived on a very strict budget.

Her dad went through the Great Depression and she feels that he has the key to healthy financial living. He never paid a penny on interest. He has a relationship with cash; something this generation knows nothing about. We have a relationship with our credit cards. "In my day, you'd get a quarter and spend 15 cents and save a dime. Your generation gets a quarter, you spend the quarter; you borrow another quarter at 23 % interest."

His first pay check was $3.63. He's from the era of sticking to a budget. He had a couple of envelopes and used cash. He kept track of every penny he made; his income and every bill that needed to be paid were in a little book from 1942 to the day he retired in 1990. "You need to pay yourself first and save some each time you are paid. Save it as if you didn't have it because you are going to need it eventually."

Now, they own their home and they are well set financially but they still live frugally and within his budget. This is her dad's mindset: If you can't afford to pay it with cash, you don't buy it. Whereas, we go shopping, hand over the plastic and have no idea what we're signing or how much we've spent. If you had to turn over $100 bills there's no way we would spend so much. MIT did a study and there is a pain associated with turning over cash, but you do not have that pain when you turn over plastic.

Stay home. You don't need granite counter tops, stainless steel appliances and brand new cars. Learn to live simply and within your husband's income. Be content with buying needs instead of getting wants. Get rid of clutter and stop wasting time on the iPhone and computer. Keep your homes clean and tidy. Fix nourishing food from scratch.

We expect too much today. We want what we want, when we want. We are not willing to wait patiently for anything, therefore, we are a nation deep in debt. I encourage you to get out of all debt. Stop paying money on interest, if at all possible. Live simply, frugally and content!

Owe no man any thing, but to love one another: 
for he that loveth another hath fulfilled the law.
Romans 13:8

***To get you started, here are my recipes for homemade laundry and dishwasher detergent and a very cheap, non-toxic and effective all purpose cleaner!

Tuesday, February 24, 2015

Giving His Daughter a Purity Ring

We didn't give our daughters purity rings. We taught them about purity and did everything we could to make sure that they were well-educated in sex and marriage the way God intended it to be. They did go to a purity camp and they both committed themselves to purity before marriage. 

As you know, the Bates have a television show. I watch it and the Duggar's show. I enjoy watching families who desire more than anything to do things God's ways. This past episode, Gil Bates, the father, gave his daughter a purity ring. The parents have decided to do this when their daughters get around the age that they notice members of the opposite sex. 

The mother went out and bought a beautiful dress for Carlin and flowers were delivered to her; the ninth child out of nineteen. Then the mother and father took her to a nice restaurant. The father took the ring and said these words to her ~

Being pure until you are married, saving yourself for your husband alone, that's God's design; one man, one woman, for life. You've already lived such a godly life. I'm so happy. So this is a little gift we got you. It's valuable but what you are is way more valuable than any gift we could give you. What God's given you is a wholesome, pure life and I want you to keep it until the day that I hand you off to some fine young man and he'll begin to take care of you. We love you." {They both were shedding tears at this point.}

In the background was a song being played by Tyrone Wells called,  Always Love You.  Some of the words were, "I will guard your innocence. All I ask in recompense is to know the Truth inside your Father's heart...I will always love you..." It was a beautiful song and a very touching scene. I wish you all could have seen it.

Therefore, mothers, whether you do a fancy event to give your daughters a purity ring or simply make sure you speak often to them about purity, it is very important in this evil society that we live in. You don't want them learning about sex and marriage from the world, but from God's Word and God wants you to teach your children in His ways. If they learn it from the world instead, it will put them straight on the path to destruction. Also, make sure they know how very much the Lord loves and values them. Help them to find their worth in Christ, know who they are in Christ, and not to look for their identity in things of this world.

For this is the will of God, your sanctification: 
that you abstain from sexual immorality; 
that each one of you know how to control 
his own body in holiness and honor, 
not in the passion of lust like the Gentiles who do not know God.
I Thessalonians 4:3-5

Monday, February 23, 2015

Where's the Lovemaking Gone?

God designed sex, well, actually He designed lovemaking. Lovemaking is suppose to be between a husband and a wife to unite them as one, to provide intimacy between the two, to produce children, and to satisfy our sexual desire. Many have quickly ruined this beautiful act given to us by the Lord.

A friend just informed me that many young men are having trouble holding an erection when they are with a woman due to the amount and types of pornography they view. She said her friend who lives on the other side of the world said it is a huge problem in her country also. I personally know couples where the husband only wants oral sex or isn't into lovemaking with his wife since he watches so much porn. There is not much lovemaking going on anymore. Lots of sex, but little lovemaking. 

When I was growing up, it was difficult for men to find porn. They had to go out and buy it hoping no one would find out. Everyone knew it was wrong. Now, eveyone can get it with a click of a mouse. Many movies even have porn in them. Just watching other couples have sex on a big screen has reduced our nation into a nation of peeping Toms.

God made lovemaking to be private; shared between married couples who have committed their lives to each other. We are commanded to keep the marriage bed undefiled {Hebrews 13:4}. Lovemaking is a very beautiful thing when it is done the way God created it. Man has completely defiled it to where many young men will never know the joy of  true lovemaking to the woman they have promised to love "until death do they part."

If a young man and woman want to "make love" and they aren't married, they are simply having sex. Making love only happens within the boundaries of marriage where there is a commitment. There can be no true love without commitment. Sex outside of marriage is NOT commitment and a very cheap imitation of the real thing.

Pornography is destructive and addictive. It reduces lovemaking to sex; an act with no intimacy. It destroys marriages. Do everything you can, Mothers, to protect your children from its deadly influence. This is a large reason why I don't think Christian parents should be sending their children to public schools anymore. Most children have iPhones and can introduce your innocent children to the vileness of porn with just a push of a button.

We must be vigilant to know where are children are at all times and who they are with. God calls us to raise them up in the nurture and the admonition of the Lord. You need to take this command very seriously or the world will capture them and pervert everything that the Lord created to be good.

It's amazing to me how few parents talk to their children about these things. You MUST unless you want to lose them to Satan. It is a spiritual battle waged in the heavenlies for the souls of our children. Tell your sons that if they fool around with porn, they are ruining their chances of having a future godly marriage with fulfilling and satisfying lovemaking. 

Don't let Satan have your children!!! Teach them God's Word continually. Hide it deep into their hearts. Help them memorize a lot of verses. They must know God's Word. It will be their protection from Satan and his wiles. Read Michael Pearl's writing on the evils of porn and read it to your sons when you feel that they are old enough.

Make knowing and loving Jesus look like the most wonderful thing in the world! Be joyful and love your husband and children deeply. Pray daily for your family and for a hedge of protection around them. Do all you can to protect them from evil and then trust the Lord.

Let thy fountain be blessed: and rejoice with the wife of thy youth. Let her be as the loving hind and pleasant roe; let her breasts satisfy thee at all times; and be thou ravished always with her love.
Proverbs 5:18, 19

Sunday, February 22, 2015

Are Christians Still Under the Law?

NO, Christians are NOT under the Law. The only way anyone could get to heaven before Jesus died on the cross was if they fulfilled the Law and obeyed it perfectly. A lot of what Jesus taught while He walked on this earth was how impossible it was for anyone to measure up to the Law. This is why we needed a Savior.

Many argued with me when I wrote about tithing and the reason they believe in tithing is because they still believe we are under the Law. Even my post about modesty, some wrote me rules for modesty from the Law. Yes, if you live under the Law, you must keep the rules of the Law but I just want to inform you that no matter what you say, you are not going to convince me that we still live under the Law.

Jesus fulfilled the Law completely for us. When He died, we died to the Law. "Wherefore, my brethren, ye also are become dead to the law by the body of Christ; that ye should be married to another, even to him who is raised from the dead, that we should bring forth fruit unto God" {Romans 7:4}. 

In the whole book of Galatians Paul is exhorting Jews who became Christians and began living under the Law. "O foolish Galatians, who hath bewitched you, that ye should not obey the truth, before whose eyes Jesus Christ hath been evidently set forth, crucified among you?...Wherefore then serveth the law? It was added because of transgressions, till the seed {Jesus} should come to whom the promise was made...Wherefore the law was our schoolmaster to bring us unto Christ, that we might be justified by faith. But after that faith is come, we are no longer under a schoolmaster {the Law}." {All from Galatians 3}

Then in Hebrews 8:13, we are told, "In that he saith, A new covenant, he hath made the first {the Law} old. Now that which decayeth and waxeth old is ready to vanish away." You'll also find this teaching in Romans and other books of the New Testament. Hebrews was specifically written to explain the superiority of Christ over the Law and sacrifices.

I don't know how anyone who studies the Bible can really believe that we are still under the Law. Just these few verses prove it but all of Galatians was written to explain it clearly to us. I'm not going to be publishing any comments that disagree with me. I have heard them all before but I believe the Bible is very clear about this topic and no one is going to convince me that I live under the Law. Christ died to free me from the Law and the punishment of the Law and I intend to stay in the freedom the Lord provided for me! No one's going to put this baby under the Law! :) {Taken from the woot woot lady!}

If you're interested in doing an in-depth, amazing study of Galatians,
 Michael Pearl's study on this is eye-opening!

Saturday, February 21, 2015

Is Our Value Measured by How Many 'Likes' We Get?

Thanks to the skyrocketing popularity of social media sites like Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter, gone are the days of needing to lease the newest model car or fill your garage with expensive gadgets in order to impress your friends and neighbors. In fact, in  this day and age, you’re unlikely to receive more than a wave or “hello” from a neighbor, much less an in-person exchange.

     Although there has been a steady decrease in face-to-face interaction since social media entered the picture, online “friend lists” are growing at an exorbitant rate--and they don’t just include your real-life friends. They encompass casual acquaintances, co-workers, neighbors, friends or friends, and even the kid you sat next to back in  the third grade.

     With all this talk of online “friendships,” one has to wonder how genuine these connections are and if they are really adding to the quality of our relationships. Are the hours we spend every week browsing through “status updates” merely encouraging interactions that have no real-life foundation? And do online apps, such as “Check Me Into Places,” only increase our desire to keep up with the now hundreds--or thousands--of “Joneses” on our friend list?  

     Whether our fitness guru friend boasts of his “Checking In” to 24-Hour Fitness for the sixth time this week, or our neighbor has gone on eight shopping sprees at Nordstroms this month, do these facts really enhance our friendships or are they merely a facade for the deeper longing we have to be seen as someone of worth? Is our value as a person measured by how many “friends” we have, how many comments we receive on our posts, or how many “likes” we get on the pictures we upload?

     True, social media has its benefits and gives us the opportunity to witness to mass amounts of people at once, but is it a healthy substitute for the face-to-face connections we were created for? In all our striving to “one up” our friends who brag in their statuses of their brilliant children, luxurious trips, high-paying career, designer clothes, or perfect marriage, we fail to see each other for who we really are and the struggles we’re facing on the other end of the computer screen. When we engage in the online popularity contests that are so often found in the daily musings of social media sites, we miss why we came here in the first place: to connect.

As I {The Joy Filled Wife} ponder a true example of the word “connect,” Mark 5:35-43 instantly comes to mind. Many Bible-readers are familiar with the story of the 12-year-old girl pronounced dead who was brought back to life with the mere touch of Jesus’ hand and the command to “arise”. This story is touching because of the simplicity of the message and the tenderness of Christ. You see, when Jesus heard the news of the little girl, He could have chosen to “say the word” from where He was standing, and His faith would have healed her from afar. He didn’t do that, though. He chose to connect on an intimate and personal level, showing Himself as a Savior who is interested in knowing and interacting with us face to face.

As believers, we need to remember that we were created in the image of God and since He is a God who longs to connect, He has created us to need connection as well. There’s no substitute for a friendly smile, a warm conversation, and two friends “checking in” in person over a cup of coffee or a morning walk. Making true connections with others does require carving a little bit of time out of our busy day, but I think we will be amazed at the harvest we reap when we sow seeds into other people’s lives.

And He {Jesus} took the damsel by the hand, and said unto her, 
Talitha cumi; which is, being interpreted,
 Damsel, I say unto thee, arise.
Mark 5:41

***This post was written by TheJoyFilledWife and the picture is 
Ken, Emma and me on our way down to the park!

Friday, February 20, 2015

Yearning for Biblical Motherhood

The problem with working mothers is they usually can't fully focus on anything; not their job, their family, and not their home. Some women have come home, yet they are still overwhelmed. Did you know that before 1975, most families only had one car, therefore, mothers were forced to be at home! Unfortunately, now that most mothers have their own cars, they are once again out of the home most of the day. It's time to step out of this hectic lifestyle and come home. 

From reading Scripture, it is obvious that a woman of God should be busy at home and caring for her family, no matter how badly many want to interpret the Bible differently. God has hard-wired women to require a mostly home-centered life so we can become the meek and quiet women that the Bible speaks about. The enemy of our soul knows this and has done everything in his power to keep women out of their homes.

When you decide to leave the workplace and come home full-time, you are stepping into the front lines of a vicious spiritual battle. Our enemy does not want us to be more rested, peaceful, content and quiet raising godly offspring for the Lord Jesus Christ. He knows that spending our days in our homes, joyfully immersed in the unhurried business of gardening, cooking, baking from scratch, crafting, teaching our children and many other things, will have numerous benefits for women and their families.

We'll have more time to be in God's Word and prayer. Our families will eat healthier from our home-cooked meals. We'll save money on gas, fast food, new clothes, and everything else that comes from having a career. Our homes will be cleaner. We'll be more rested and ready to be intimate with our husbands. We will be available for those in need; the sick, the hurting, our grandchildren, etc. Our children will be better disciplined, better rested, happier and more relaxed.

The yearning to have the old-fashioned lives our grandmothers lived is just an inward call for hearth and home that is built into a woman's soul to live the way the Lord created us to live. Too many women are looking for peace in a bottle, buying more and more stuff, being in a 'perfect' career, in some type of ministry or being constantly busy. 

This is a spiritual battle, dear mothers. Fight it God's way; at home serving and loving on your precious families. This is glorifying to God and frightful to the enemy!

She looks well to the ways of her household, 
And does not eat the bread of idleness.
Proverbs 31:27

Thursday, February 19, 2015

Is NOT Having Children Selfish?

Think of all the excuses for not having children. I am too tired. I want to travel and have a career. We want to enjoy life as a couple first. We don't make enough money. They take too much work. Did you notice that not one of those excuses included God, the Great Provider and His desires for us?

Kelly Crawford has ten children and is open to any more the Lord may bless her with. She has gone over all the buts....and the reasons to use birth control but she keeps coming back to this ~

All those things are self-centered things that completely disregard the eternal hand of God in my family, in this, my short life. And I am called to not set my mind on the things of the earth so much.

This is unselfishness. Having a lot of children and sacrificing your "me time" and peace and quiet in your home is an act of sacrifice. She has decided that raising godly offspring is more important to her than any earthly riches or pleasures. I sure wish more Christian couples had this eternal view when it comes to children.

Up until birth control was invented, most couples had no choice but to have all the children God blessed them with. Even after it was invented, most preachers and churches preached against it. What happened between now and then? Are we so highly intellectualized that we know more than all of them. Is birth control a good thing? Has it contributed good things to our world?

NO! It has allowed people to think that they should control their fertility instead of trusting the Lord. It has allowed promiscuity to flourish since unmarried couples can have sex without worrying about pregnancy, but if they do get pregnant, they can get an abortion.

Now, I am not saying to never use birth control, as I have stated before. This is an issue that needs to be decided between a husband and his wife. A wife must respect her husband's decision whatever it is since he is the head of the home and will be answerable to God for how he lead his family. {Hopefully, he will take his wife's desires into consideration.} I just want you to ponder your decisions in light of Scripture and how society has perverted what God calls very good. It is so easy to become selfish and think only upon our own needs and desires, instead of seeing the whole picture, eternity, especially in this entitlement mentality society that we live in.

Think carefully about the decisions you make. Study Scripture, pray about it, and read other people's experience of allowing the Lord to bless them with children. Don't just go headlong into what everyone else is doing, even those inside the church. Make your decisions based upon God's deepest desire for you, not society's.

Behold, children are a gift of the LORD, 
The fruit of the womb is a reward.
Psalm 127:3

***The picture is a young couple Ken and I mentored! 
They are very happily married and enjoying their precious twin daughters.

Wednesday, February 18, 2015

How is Biblical Modesty Defined Today?

Does modesty change with the times and cultures? Should we be dressing like the women did in Little House on the Prairie? Should cultures in times past define modesty or should the Bible? Are bikinis modest? How should we know what modesty is when different cultures have different modesty standards than ours? What is truly biblical modesty?

This topic causes a lot of confusion with women. We know our standards shouldn't align with culture but with God's Word and His Word never changes so what are the modesty standards we should live by today? Should we only wear dresses? Is it okay to show cleavage? How are we suppose to know?

God's Word has everything we need for life and godliness. It is not that difficult to find out. Titus 2:3-5 commands older women to teach young women to be chaste and discreet. Chaste is defined as "pure in style; not excessively ornamented; simple." Discreet means "modestly unobtrusive; unostentatious which means to not attract attention."  1 Timothy 2:9 states, "In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with boided hair, or gold, of pearls, or costly array." Shamefacedness is not wanting to draw attention to yourself

From these verses, we learn what biblical modesty looks like. It does not draw attention to oneself. It does not spend a lot of money on clothing. This doesn't mean you only have to wear dresses. It doesn't mean you can never show your knees or arms. We all must prayerfully consider these verses and allow the Holy Spirit to convict us in our clothing, not society or even other Christians. Our freedom in Christ gives us this ability to make our own decision based upon His Word and the Spirit. The first place to begin is asking your husband what he thinks looks modest on you. 

When a woman's cleavage is showing, people look. If their bottom is hanging out, people look. If your bathing suit is skimpy, people look and you are attracting attention to yourself. You don't want to draw attention to your body, according to God's Word. This isn't too difficult to figure out. If there were hard and fast rules about this, God would have given them to us. Study God's Word. Ask the Holy Spirit to convict you and then go about living out those convictions. Model modesty to those around you. Yes, you may look different than most but that is okay. We are a remnant and we should look like God's chosen people.

If you are not married, ask the godly, mature men in your life what modesty looks like to them. Most honest men would say bikinis and leggings are immodest. Showing an excess amount of flesh is immodest. Wearing extremely tight fitting clothing is immodest. I believe this would hold true for most societies that ever existed. Be modest, women, and obey the Lord in this very important command to us.

Tuesday, February 17, 2015

Should Christians Tithe?

No, Christians do not have to tithe; give a certain, prescribed amount away to the church and others. Some think we should still tithe because of what Jesus said to the Pharisees, "Woe unto you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! for ye pay tithe of mint and anise and cummin, and have omitted the weightier matters of the law, judgment, mercy, and faith: these ought ye to have done, and not to leave the other undone" {Matthew 23:23}. Remember, Jesus was speaking to Jews who were still living under the Law. He had not died and fulfilled the Law yet. They were still in bondage to the Law.

Paul teaches a whole new teaching after Jesus fulfilled the Law for us; thus we died to the Law. "Wherefore, my brethren, ye also are become dead to the law by the body of Christ; that ye should be married to another, even to him who is raised from the dead, that we should bring forth fruit unto God" {Romans 7:4}. We are no longer living under any burden of the Law. If we still lived by the Law, we would be living under the punishment for breaking the Law; stonings, etc. Just as Christians no longer have to keep the Sabbath, we no longer need to tithe.

Now we are commanded to do this instead, "Every man according as he purposeth in his heart, so let him give; not grudgingly, or of necessity: for God loveth a cheerful giver" {2 Corinthians 9:7}. God wants us to give because we want to give, not out of a sense of duty. He wants us to live lives that give; lives that are living sacrifices and are known for being generous. In order to be an elder, one must have the quality of generosity. We are all called to be servants for others in every way; not just giving our money but our time and talents.

God wants us to walk in obedience to Him because our greatest desire is to please Him, not because we have to and out of a sense of duty but because we want to! We have already been saved from the wrath to come. Jesus fulfilled the whole law so that we can walk in newness of life! Paul tells Philemon concerning giving; "but without your consent I did not want to do anything, so that your goodness would not be, in effect, by compulsion but of your own free will {Philemon 1:14}."

Therefore, don't let the burden of tithing and keeping the Sabbath weigh you down anymore. We are living under a brand new covenant that was given to us when Jesus died on the cross and rose again. He freed us from the bondage of the Law and put His Spirit inside of us so we can be transformed into the likeness of Him. What a Savior!

2 Corinthians 9 is a wonderful chapter on giving and generosity that every believer should study. Paul states, "But this I say, He which soweth sparingly shall reap also sparingly; and he which soweth bountifully  shall reap also bountifully!" Notice that none of the New Testament writers, after Jesus' death on the cross, ever command us to 'tithe.' Study Hebrews 7. However, if you enjoy giving 10% of your income away and feel cheerful about it, go for it! If you want to give more than 10% away, please do for God LOVES a cheerful giver! For there is now NO condemnation for those who love Jesus.

Here is a fabulous article about the origins of tithing and why it is 
no longer applicable for today.

Monday, February 16, 2015

Is Money a Bone of Contention?

There were some women discussing finances and money in marriage on television. One of the women said she hides some of her money and how she spends it from her husband because it's her money, she works hard, and she doesn't want anyone telling her what to do, especially her husband. {Funny, she works for a boss and I am sure she obeys her boss and does what he tells her to do.} She said that money is a bone of contention in her marriage. Should she tell her husband about these things or is it okay for her to keep this from him since it's "her" money? Many couples even have their own bank accounts now. Is this a good thing?

Yes, she should tell her husband and NO, it is not a good thing. The day you are married, you become one flesh. You have signed a covenant before God. It is a mysterious event but you are joined together until death do you part. In this covenant marriage, God has ordained the husband to be the head of his wife and the wife to be his help meet.

Yes, this TV host makes money but it is NOT her "own." His money becomes hers and her money becomes his after the vows are spoken. Everything that you once owned when you were single is now both of yours. You are joint heirs together. Who is in charge of the money now? The husband is the head of the wife, therefore, the husband is in charge of the money. He can designate the wife to pay the bills, buy the groceries, etc. but you both need to decide together how you will spend your money and when you have to ask him whether or not you can buy something. It's good to set a limit on how much money you can spend before you need to ask permission. You see, if there is one leader in the family as God designated the husband to be, there should be no bones of contention in your family about anything. God designed this for peace. Arguing and strife are NOT from the Lord. Doing things His way is the good and right way.

This may not seem fair in the world's eyes but we don't look through the world's eyes anymore or match up our lives to what is fair or not. We match our lives up to the Word of God and live by biblical principles. Therefore, never keep secrets from your husband about what you buy and if you want to buy something that is over the agreed amount, ask him. If he doesn't care what you buy or how much you spend, you have nothing to worry about or hide. However, many husbands are the bread winners and providers of the family and have every right to know where their family's hard earned money goes.

Older women teach the young women be obedient 
to their husbands so the Word of God will not be blasphemed.
Titus 2:3-5

Sunday, February 15, 2015

The Taboos of Modesty: Why Should Women Dress Modestly?

{Guest post by Psalm1Wife}
Young women are being told from Christian pastors, teachers and well-meaning parents everywhere that they should dress modestly. There is a push from the world to dress immodestly and those of us in the conservative Christian corner are exhorting the young ladies to a higher standard. If we are immodest, we are rebuked, and rightly so.

I {Psalm1Wife} am going to submit a reason to dress modestly that is different than what you have likely heard. If you're like the rest of us, the reason that comes to mind is that dressing provocatively can cause our brothers-in-Christ to sin and would make us a stumbling block. {Romans 14:13; James 1:14-15} This reason has been drilled into every private schooled, homeschooled or fundamentalist's daughter's head from the time she was a teenager.

When this reason is solely being taught and reiterated to young women, it can be a very dangerous thing when these young women get married. Wives are always searching for a reason to control their husbands. When we teach young women that the only reason they must cover up their bodies is because it is their responsibility to keep their brothers-in-Christ from sinning, we are subconsciously telling them that it is their job to not allow their husbands to sin. Could this be another way we try to control men and even maybe our husbands? We are training our brains to think that if it weren't for women making the moral choice to cover up, men would automatically sin by lusting after our bodies and this encourages women to have a distrust of men and a sense of spiritual superiority over the male species in general.

Men and husbands are responsible themselves to refrain from sin, not women or wives. Dressing in a way that does not draw attention to our bodies is a good safety measure in defense of the very few men who may overpower us and take advantage of us because of the temptation that revealing our flesh will elicit, but keeping men from sin is not our responsibility; it is the Holy Spirit's. Which brings us to the real reason that women should not dress provocatively ~It is a sin, our sin.

We are neglecting a very crucial part of immodesty ~ how good it makes us feel to be lusted after. Men have a desire to have sex and they are visually stimulated by a woman's body. God answered this desire by creating a wife for a husband whose body is solely his. But people tend to think the buck stops there, when in fact, it does not.

Men are not the only ones with desires. Women have a desire to be lusted after by men and God answered this desire too. He gave us a husband to dress provocatively for and elicit raw, sexual attraction from.

When women dress immodestly, we are seeking that exciting rush from others, besides our husband. The same women who dress this way, will condemn their husband for lusting after women through pornography or through checking out some scantily clad girl in the mall. No one says anything to the wife,  whose skin-tight jeans with rhinestones on the bottom that may as well be a well-lit landing strip with arrows and a service man holding flashing lights directing every man's eyes directly to her rear. Or the women who wear cleavage bearing shirts or extremely form fitting clothing with the purpose of drawing attention to our flesh.

I remember one time, before I realized my grave sin in flaunting my body for other men to see besides my husband that I was envious of a woman I knew that had gotten her breast size surgically enhanced. I was telling her how much I would also like to have this done and that instead of just making my breasts larger, it would be nice to have them cosmetically enhanced as well. She answered me that there is no need because it costs more and no one, besides your husband will see them anyway. In my wickedness, I agreed with her. She outwardly and blatantly exposed the fact that a woman's desire is to be attractive for others, besides her husband, to the point of saying that a breast enhancement that would be making her look more attractive in a way that others would not notice would be a waste of money and I understood her logic and agreed with her. Woe is me!

A woman's temptation to dress immodestly for attention is just as dangerous and sinful as a man's temptation to look at a woman. This is a very real and serious topic and so it is also important to remind ourselves that our husband is our authority and we must not cause dissensions in our marriage because we have been moved to throw out all of our pants and boots. If you are convicted to change your wardrobe, talk to your husband first. The point I am making is that he is the one we should dress for. If your husband wants you to wear tight jeans in public, you should obey him but we must acknowledge the error in neglecting our own sin, as women, of enjoying the flattering attention from others that comes from immodest dress and the error of conditioning ourselves to thinking that the only sin committed is on the part of the man who looks at us.

In conclusion, keep your finger pointed at yourself and do not dress immodestly. Not because it will cause the brothers-in-Christ around you to sin, but because it feeds your own desire to be wrongly lusted after and noticed by other men. A godly man's perspective on the subject of modesty and all of the excuses that ensue is as follows ~

If you are like me and have been seeing and doing things wrong for your whole life, things like this are hard to hear. All the talk of the “utility” of immodest workout clothes, sports uniforms, comfort clothes, etc. is an alluring sidetrack. It appears like a shortcut through the wilderness of moral choices, but it leads to Sheol.

Your heart will tell you lies to make sin appear reasonable. Friends and even respected elders will make to you excuses for immodesty...anything to try to make you feel bad for choosing modesty before trivialities. That’s what uber-efficient work-outs, amateur sports, or a smidgen more comfort in the supermarket are: trivialities. Do not be deceived! You must choose what you love. 

If we love to serve God, we will not sin against Him and our husbands by ignoring our desire to be lusted after by other men and continue to suppress the fact that that is a core reason that we may dress immodestly. We will choose what we love. If we love that attention, we will remain in the dark and continue to hush the taboos of modesty ~ how enjoyable it is to be attractive to all men and that we must work against this desire at all cost.

Like a gold ring in a pig's snout is a 
beautiful woman without discretion.
Proverbs 11:22

Saturday, February 14, 2015

Your Covenant Sustains Your Marriage!

On the day you married your husband, you promised to love him 'until death do you part.' Do you remember? Whether you have been married for six months like Steven and Emily, or 34 years like Ken and me, or 61 years like my Mom and Dad, you must stay faithful to your vows; a whole generation and more is affected by your commitment or lack of commitment to your vows! "The covenant sustains the marriage, not the love," John Piper recently stated. Begin a godly generation with you and your husband by keeping your covenant, just as Christ keeps His covenant with His bride, the Church.

In order to have a marriage that lasts a lifetime and is built on the covenant you made, you must determine to never use the word divorce or think it. It must not be in your vocabulary. Determine that you are going to do everything in your power to keep your marriage together forever. The best way to do this is to work on yourself and becoming a godly help meet to your husband.

Secondly, don't ever speak negatively about your husband. Ruth Bell Graham advised wives to "tell your mate the positive, and tell God the negative." Remind yourself that NO man has ever crawled out from under his wife's criticism to become a better man, as Debi Pearl wrote. Instead of criticizing your husband, pray for him and dwell on what you love about him. You did choose to marry him and there were qualities that attracted you to him, remember?

Thirdly, read good marriage books and blogs that encourage you in your role as help meet to your husband. Most days I write something on my Facebook page to encourage women in their lives, mostly in their marriages. We need to be reminded to walk as Jesus walked, love as He loved, forgive as He forgave and serve as He served. It's so easy to forget unless we are daily reminded and in His Word. So many things in our society are intended to pull us away from our husbands, make us dissatisfied and break our covenant to them. We live in a society of vow breakers. This is a spiritual battle, women. Fight the enemy of our souls with the sword of the Spirit, the Word of God and prayer.

Finally, be joyful! The joy of the Lord is your strength. Joy draws others, especially your husband, to you. Believe in the power of God and the protection of His armor {Ephesians 6:10-18}. Pray daily for your husband and the things he struggles with. Believe God and His promises. Don't depend on your ability to change your husband. Depend upon God. Have faith. Be a vow keeper and commit to loving him all the days of your life.

 What therefore God hath joined together, 
let not man put asunder.