Tim Challies wrote an article called “The Curse of a Godly Wife” and how men who are married to godly wives are often times intimidated by them. From my experience, it is because they let their husbands clearly know that they are godlier than them. They pray elaborate prayers. They are often involved in Bible studies and some are even the teachers. Since many of them don’t work outside the home, they have more time to study their Bibles, listen to preachers, and godly radio programs.
Mr. Challies wrote, “In many cases it is because his wife is godlier—godlier than he is. She may have been a Christian for longer. She may have a deeper knowledge of the Bible. She may have read more books and listened to more sermons. She may be the one who loves to study the Bible and whose heart goes pitter-pat when she adds a new term to her theological lexicon. And when he compares himself to her, he feels inadequate. He feels like a poser. He feels embarrassed to do those things he knows he should do. He finds it easier to do nothing.”
I was that woman who was godlier than my husband, in my mind. I did all those things just quoted. However, I failed to realize Ken’s godly characteristics of being faithful to me, working hard to provide for the family, deeply loving his children, being generous every opportunity he had, helping others whenever he saw a need, and rarely being critical of anyone. Then there I was being critical and feeling proud because I was godlier than him. Blech!
Let’s say a wife truly is godlier than her husband. How can she make him not feel intimidated by it? By practicing godliness without saying anything; being kind and loving towards her husband; respecting him as her head and not arguing with him; not having to be right but allowing him to have the last word. There are many ways that she can live a godly life without him knowing what is going on behind the scenes; enabling her to win him without a word by being in subjection to him and living a godly life.
Don’t ever ask him to pray or lead devotions. Allow him to make this decision. Let him choose what church to attend. If he doesn’t attend a church, ask him if it is okay for you to go. Most men won’t mind unless they have very little time at home and want to be with you. If this is the case, find a good Bible study to attend or someway that feeds your soul. This just may be the way you win your husband; when he sees you trying to please and obey him.
Don’t allow your godliness to become a curse to your husband. Allow it to be a huge blessing instead. Be a wife that loves to please him, respects him, shows him appreciation, and follows his lead. In this way, your husband will never feel intimidated by you, but he will treasure you instead.
Wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives.
1 Peter 3:1